One of the strangest creatures I have saw
Is the English Slinkin’ Maw
It has a nose which is quite like
A broken, rusty motorbike
Its arm are fat and full of hair
It wears sexy underwear
A Maw’s chin is full of spots
All pustules and big red blots
Its legs are long like skipping ropes
Its toes are like wet bars of soap
It slips and slides about the place
And falls down upon its face
Speaking of which its face is red
Like Bolognese on garlic bread
Its ears are like the Blackpool Tower
Its favourite food is cauliflower
It has a tail thats ten foot long
Did I mention it wears thongs?
It has spikes upon its tail
Where it stores one thousand snails
Each Maw owns a pinstiped suit
They’re grade 8 standard on flute
They gobble children who disobey
The things they’re parents and teachers say
They’ll boil you, mash you, scramble, fry,
And make a jam out of your eyes
They’ll mince and bake you, and then they’ll see
If there’s ought left to save for tea
So kids of England please watch out
Or the Slinkin’ Maw will sniff you out
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