A Short Poem About Brahms

Brahms farms burglar alarms

The Ballad of the Slinkin' Maw

One of the strangest creatures I have saw

Is the English Slinkin’ Maw

It has a nose which is quite like

A broken, rusty motorbike

Its arm are fat and full of hair

It wears sexy underwear

A Maw’s chin is full of spots

All pustules and big red blots

Its legs are long like skipping ropes

Its toes are like wet bars of soap

It slips and slides about the place

And falls down upon its face

Speaking of which its face is red

Like Bolognese on garlic bread

Its ears are like the Blackpool Tower

Its favourite food is cauliflower

It has a tail thats ten foot long

Did I mention it wears thongs?

It has spikes upon its tail

Where it stores one thousand snails

Each Maw owns a pinstiped suit

They’re grade 8 standard on flute

They gobble children who disobey

The things they’re parents and teachers say

They’ll boil you, mash you, scramble, fry,

And make a jam out of your eyes

They’ll mince and bake you, and then they’ll see

If there’s ought left to save for tea

So kids of England please watch out

Or the Slinkin’ Maw will sniff you out